What if the very traits that helped you survive your childhood, your career, and your trauma are now the same traits keeping you lonely, exhausted, or shut down?
In Episode 133, I sit down with Jimmy Portner and Dr. Nate Tomcik — founders of Radically Open Connections — for a powerful conversation about RO-DBT, the therapy model designed specifically for people who are too controlled. The perfectionists. The high achievers. The rule-followers. The leaders. The “I’m fine” responders. The people who hold it all together on the outside while quietly burning out on the inside.
Jimmy and Dr. Nate break down the real difference between standard DBT and RO-DBT, and why so many first responders and veterans fall into the over-controlled category. More importantly, they explain how RO-DBT helps people open up, reconnect, and rebuild the parts of themselves that got buried under duty, discipline, and decades of holding it all in.
We get into:
Jimmy and Nate also share practical tools you can start using today, whether you’re a clinician, a responder, or someone trying to repair old relationship patterns.
If you’ve ever been told you’re “too serious,” “too rigid,” “too independent,” or “hard to read”… this episode will feel like turning on a light switch.
If you’ve ever struggled to let people in or admit you’re hurting… this episode is for you.
If you’re tired of surviving by shutting down… this episode might change the way you understand yourself forever.
DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop is shared for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes. It does not provide therapy, medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment, and listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. The views expressed are those of the individual speaking. If you need support, please reach out to a qualified professional or emergency services in a crisis. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information.
ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat):
