"Your psychology is everything. The way you interpret events matters more than the events themselves."
These powerful words from licensed clinical social worker Yuri Mello capture the essence of a transformative approach to parenting teenagers. As a father of five and co-founder of School Pulse, Mello brings decades of clinical experience and personal wisdom to the challenging landscape of parent-teen relationships.
Most parents find themselves stuck in reactive patterns, responding to each crisis as it emerges rather than building the foundation for lasting connection. Mello introduces a revolutionary framework that distinguishes between "inviting" positive outcomes and "provoking" resistance in our interactions with teens. This simple but profound shift in approach can transform even the most strained parent-teen dynamics.
At the heart of Mello's approach is the "positive interaction ratio" - maintaining at least three positive moments for every challenging conversation. Our brains are wired to remember negative experiences more vividly than positive ones, which means parents must intentionally create an abundance of positive interactions to balance the inevitable difficult moments. When this ratio flips negative, relationships deteriorate rapidly.
Mello reimagines Maslow's hierarchy of needs for parenting, placing emotional safety at the foundation, followed by trust, kindness, and only then accountability. Too many parents invert this pyramid, focusing primarily on discipline while neglecting the relationship layers that make discipline effective. Through practical examples and vulnerable personal stories, Mello demonstrates how parents can position themselves to be among the first people their teens turn to in times of need.
The conversation also explores School Pulse, an innovative program delivering positive psychology content directly to students via text messages and videos, creating pathways for support before crises occur. This proactive approach represents the future of mental health support for young people.
Listen now to discover practical strategies for maintaining connection during the turbulent teen years and building relationships that will last a lifetime. Your approach to parenting challenges today shapes not just your child's behavior, but who they become and how they'll relate to you for decades to come.
Welcome to Speak Out Stand Out — the show where we build confidence in our future, one voice at a time. I’m your host, Elizabeth Green.
I grew up shy, so I know firsthand how life-changing it can be when someone helps you find your voice. Now, I get to help kids and teens do exactly that — and this podcast is a place to share those tools with you.
Each week, I talk with experts and inspiring guests about simple, practical and tangible ways to help the young people in
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