In this episode, I define what financial abuse is and how it can show up in our relationships.
This is a topic that I believe isn’t really discussed much.
I want to note that I am not a therapist or doctor and I’ve seen this so many times between spouses/partners, parents and their own children, and at times with adult children and their parents.
I believe the underlying theme and belief around financial abuse comes back to control and when we are trying to control someone, what we are really feeling is fear.
Ways that financial abuse presents itself in a relationship, whether you are on the receiving or giving end (this list isn't all inclusive):
- You have set "allowances” or “budgets” without your input.
- You are required to account for everything you spend down to the penny.
- You partner feels entitled to your money or assets.
- There is control on how all of the household finances are spent.
- There might be a limit to your ability to attend job training, pursue higher education, or otherwise advance your career, yet they are buying all the programs, coaching, business education to further themselves.
- Limits your access to your own bank account or mutual bank accounts.
- Maxes out credit cards or simply uses credit cards in your name without your knowledge.
- Threatens to cut you off financially when you disagree.
- Uses funds from children’s savings account without mutual agreement.
- Having to ask for money for basic needs.
- Not listed as an owner on the legal paperwork for assets
If you feel that you might be on the receiving end of someone who is financially abusive, you can contact the National Relationship Abuse Hotline at 800-799-7233.
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