I hear a lot of people setting boundaries because someone is triggering them and then complaining because that person has violated their boundary.
Firstly, I think the word triggered is overused and we should be replacing it with the word stimulus. Triggered for me suggests that the other person is the cause of our anxiety which puts the ball well and truly in their court. They have all the power.
When we see this person as the stimulus we can see them more as an object that our brain has created an association with and is then creating the appropriate response to correspond with that association.
This approach gives us our control back. Then we can set our boundaries because we realise that this person is not the cause of the pain, they are just the stimulus.
I teach people not to set boundaries in an attempt to control others or from a place of frustration because that just doesn't work. We want to set boundaries to get control back of our lives and to protect our relationships. In that case we need a good, loving reason why when we are setting them and enforce them from a loving place.
Have a listen and see what you think.
To watch the YouTube version click the link below:
https://youtu.be/AuR4NjxW4NE
