Ep. 051 Self-Compassion
Self-Compassion = Way of relating to the self kindly and accepting who we are and how we are. The 3 elements of Self-Compassion are: 1. Kindness; 2. Common Humanity; and 3. Mindfulness. In other words - It is a loving, connected presence with self.
Self-Esteem = Global evaluation of self, increases the thought or belief that I have to be special, research has shown a strong correlation to the increase of narcissism since self-esteem movement started, perfectionism, inadequacy, and it is contingent on success.
Physiological effects of self-criticism - triggers the sympathetic nervous system (Fight or Flight) response, you are the attacker and the attacked at the same time.
Self-pity is the enemy of Self-Compassion
Connection with self and others activates the parasympathetic nervous system (Rest and Digest)
Self-Compassion has very few pitfalls in its practice. There are no comparisons, no association to narcissism or perfectionism.
Christopher Germer - “Love reveals everything unlike itself”
This is why it is common that people will think they are doing it “wrong” because as they begin to be self-compassionate they often feel opposite.
Carl Jung - “Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other.”
Eckhart Tolle - “Only the truth of who you are, if realized, will set you free.”
Exercise 2: Self-Compassion Break
Think of a situation in your life that is difficult, that is causing you stress. Call the situation to mind, and see if you can actually feel the stress and emotional discomfort in your body.
Now, say to yourself:
1. This is a moment of suffering
That’s mindfulness. Other options include:
2. Suffering is a part of life
That’s common humanity. Other options include:
Now, put your hands over your heart, feel the warmth of your hands and the gentle touch of your hands on your chest. Or adopt the soothing touch you discovered felt right for you.
Say to yourself:
3. May I be kind to myself
You can also ask yourself, “What do I need to hear right now to express kindness to myself?” Is there a phrase that speaks to you in your particular situation, such as:
