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In this episode of The Modern Creative Woman, Dr. Amy Backos continues the conversation on creating more chill holidays by exploring the neuropsychology of choice, habit, and tradition. She weaves personal reflection with brain science to offer listeners both compassion and practical insight into why the holidays can feel so overwhelming—and how meaningful change is actually possible.
Dr. Backos begins by normalizing the gap between intention and reality during the holidays. Drawing from her own experience of scaling back perfectionism, she reminds us that time is not the goal—well-being is. Gifts can arrive late, traditions can shift, and self-kindness matters more than meeting imaginary deadlines.
The heart of the episode focuses on the neuroscience of decision-making. Dr. Backos explains how four key brain areas—the prefrontal cortex, limbic system, anterior cingulate cortex, and striatum—work together to shape our choices. Importantly, she highlights how emotion, habit, and reward often override logic, helping explain why we revert to old patterns (especially around family and holidays), even when we “know better.”
She then unpacks research showing that the brain initiates action before we’re consciously aware of deciding, underscoring why habits are so powerful—and why change requires patience. This insight offers deep empathy for ourselves and others, reframing impulsive or regressive behaviors as efficiency strategies of the brain, not personal failures.
From there, Dr. Bakos turns toward hope and neuroplasticity. Our brains can change, learn new routes, form new traditions, and create new emotional associations. Traditions, while comforting and efficient, are not fixed—and we are free to keep, modify, or release them.
The episode closes with a gentle, experiential art therapy practice: slowing down, noticing the urge to move before acting, and using artmaking as a way to interrupt automatic patterns. This mindful pause becomes a lived experience of neuroplasticity and choice—one that can extend beyond the art table and into how we navigate the holidays.
Key takeaway: When we slow down and understand how our brains truly work, we can meet ourselves with compassion, experiment with small changes, and create holidays—and lives—that feel more intentional, creative, and calm.
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