The moments that test our limits rarely need solutions—they need presence. After weeks of hospital stays with my son Dominic, I've been reflecting deeply on what it means to truly support someone through crisis. That well-intentioned question we often ask—"What can I do to help?"—places the burden of instruction on someone already drowning in overwhelm.
True support looks different. It's my book club friends who gathered money to stock a refrigerator with healing foods when one member's son had surgery. It's driving to be with a grieving family without waiting for an invitation, cleaning their house, running errands, and creating space for their complex emotions. It's sending a text that simply says "I see you" without demanding updates. As Ernest Hemingway wrote, "In our darkest moments, we don't need solutions or advice. What we yearn for is simply human connection, a quiet presence, a gentle touch."
When someone you love is suffering, don't try to fix their pain or push away their shadows. Just sit beside them through their inner storms. Be the steady hand they can reach for without needing a roadmap. Let love be low pressure but high presence. And if you're the one struggling today—grieving, exhausted, in the thick of something hard—remember that you're worthy of being held, and there's nothing wrong with needing someone to simply walk alongside you. Your pain is yours to carry, but having companions who love you through it can change everything. That's the power of Oxygen First—taking care of ourselves so we can truly show up for others, and allowing others to show up for us.
What's the most meaningful way someone has supported you during a difficult time? I'd love to hear your story. And don't forget to check out my new hiring ROI calculator at dotrockconsulting.com to discover how getting support can transform your life.
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Remember: your energy is your greatest asset. Protect it, invest in it, and always put your oxygen mask on first.
