For months after surgery I was living in survival mode. Chest pains, persistent headaches, swollen legs, and a mirror I was avoiding. This episode is about what it actually looks like to hit rock bottom in recovery, not dramatically, just quietly and completely.
There's a David Hawkins idea I came back to during this time: that it's not our emotions that cause the most suffering, it's our avoidance of them. I talk about the moment that landed for me, lying on the floor, and what I decided to do with it. Which was the opposite of what every instinct was telling me.
This episode goes into what happened when I stopped moving away from the pain and moved directly into it instead. What I found there, and what was left after. It's one of the harder episodes to describe. Worth listening to rather than reading about.
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