Episode Overview
In this episode, Coach Liz explores the unseen cost of loving someone with unprocessed trauma. Drawing from lived experience, she unpacks how unresolved trauma can quietly enter relationships, creating emotional instability, fear, and numbness that the partner often feels responsible for managing.
This conversation invites listeners to reflect on the difference between compassion and self-abandonment, and to release the belief that love requires rescuing or fixing someone else.
Key Topics Covered
Loving someone with unprocessed trauma (1:12)
Coach Liz shares how she was repeatedly drawn to partners carrying deep emotional wounds. She believed love could heal them, until she realized their unresolved trauma became a third presence in the relationship.
The burden of secondary trauma (4:42)
When you absorb someone else’s fear, triggers, and emotional weight, it can lead to secondary trauma. Over time, this creates burnout, blurred boundaries, and a loss of self.
Choosing yourself over rescuing others (6:02)
Healing is a personal responsibility. Healthy love is mutual, safe, and grounded in peace, not emotional labor or survival mode. Coach Liz introduces a “trauma brain vs. recovered brain” filter for relationships.
Stepping back to allow healing (6:53)
Sometimes the most loving act is stepping back and allowing others to do their own trauma work. Choosing peace may mean releasing familiar but unhealthy dynamics and trusting what God has prepared next.
Reflection Question
Where in your life have you mistaken rescuing for love, and what might choosing yourself look like now?
Next Step: Continue Your Recovery
If this episode resonated, you may be ready for deeper support.
Level 2: Trauma Recovery — One Breath at a Time is designed for those who recognize the patterns, understand the cost of secondary trauma, and are ready to move from awareness into intentional recovery. This level offers structured guidance, reflection, and support to help you strengthen boundaries, restore emotional safety, and choose peace without guilt.
You do not have to recover alone.
You do not have to carry what was never yours.
We are recovering one breath at a time.
Give yourself grace and stay fearless.
Bye for now.
Remember, Trauma was not your fault, your were collateral damage on someone else's warpath. Trauma was not your fault, however Recovery is your Responsibility. I am your host, Wellness Coach Liz Blanding, and this is The Get Trauma Informed Podcast.
Contact us at:
http://oasiswellnessctrs.com
https://oasiswellnessctrs.com/blog/blog
https://oasiswellnessctrs.com/contact
https://linktr.ee/dlblanding
https://www.lifewave.com/oasiswellnesscenters
