Supplemental Study Guide: https://www.drdallasbragg.com/newsletters/blog/posts/lonelinessgift
In this essential episode, Dr. Dallas Bragg welcomes Phil McAuliffe, founder of Humans:Connecting and The Loneliness Guy to explore one of the top reasons gay men relapse in recovery from crystal meth addiction: loneliness. Phil reframes loneliness as a vital signal—like hunger or thirst—that our connection needs aren't being met, rather than a problem to fix or numb through scrolling, using, or other distractions. He introduces the powerful concept that admitting loneliness is akin to saying "I feel unworthy of love and belonging," which explains why men often won't acknowledge their loneliness until after they've relapsed. The conversation dismantles common platitudes like "you're not alone" and "just put yourself out there," revealing how these well-meaning responses often miss the mark and why loneliness carries such debilitating stigma in our community.
Phil shares his framework of the "three pillars of connection"—connection to self, connection to those most important to you, and connection to community—emphasizing that meaningful connection requires showing up authentically rather than wearing masks or performing competence. He introduces the critical insight that loneliness "dances in a trio" with shame and trauma, meaning addressing loneliness often requires courage to examine these deeper wounds. Practical tools discussed include owning loneliness through language ("I'm experiencing loneliness" versus "I'm lonely"), getting relentlessly curious rather than judgmental, asking for consent before sharing your loneliness with others, and committing to six months of persistence when trying new connection activities. The episode reinforces that recovery work—whether from addiction or loneliness—takes time, effort, and patience, but ultimately, you are worth it.
Find Phil here:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/phil-mcauliffe/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/humans_connecting/
Connection Resolutions Download: https://www.humansconnecting.org/downloads/connection-resolutions
Connection Starter Course: https://www.humansconnecting.org/connection-starter-course
The AfterMeth:
Join our Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theaftermeth/
Dr. Dallas Bragg
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drdallasbragg
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YouTube: The Aftermeth Podcast
X: https://twitter.com/Drdallasbragg
Free online course to End the Relapse Cycle: https://www.drdallasbragg.com/offers/e7c2Eo22/checkout
Meth-Free Blueprint EBOOK: https://www.drdallasbragg.com/offers/o8qFhK5i/checkout
