What if the high you’re chasing isn’t love at all, but the thrill of uncertainty?
On pub day, we sit down with author Amanda McCracken to unpack limerence (the obsessive, anxious fixation that can masquerade as romance) and how naming the pattern helped her trade fantasy for reciprocity. We connect the dots between anxious-avoidant dynamics, social media ambiguity, and the dopamine hit of anticipation that keeps us hooked on “what if.” Amanda shares how purity culture shaped her choices, why “safe” once felt boring, and how a later-in-life ADHD diagnosis helped things click.
If you’ve ever been caught up in breadcrumbing, ghosting, or the mental movie of an idealized other, this episode offers a clear path forward. You’ll learn how to spot limerence, interrupt the rumination loop, and build self-compassion so you can trust your choices and choose people who choose you back. Plus, Amanda shares more about her podcast The Longing Lab. Listen, share with a friend who’s ready for healthier love, and if this resonated, subscribe and leave a review to help others find the show.
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If you have any comments or questions, please connect with me on Instagram or email babesinbooklandpodcast@gmail.com. I’d love to hear your suggestions and feedback!
Link to this episode’s book:
When Longing Becomes Your Lover by Amanda McCracken
Other links:
The Longing Lab Podcast
The Peace Boat
This episode is produced, recorded, and edited by me.
Special thanks to my new friend, Amanda.
Xx, Alex
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