What happens when we confront the ways we've perpetuated stereotypes?
Kaila Yu joins me to discuss her raw, unflinching journey from pin up girl and import model to memoirist.
Kaila's memoir "Fetishized" emerged from the aftermath of the Atlanta spa shootings, forcing her to reckon with her own relationship with Asian fetishization. With remarkable candor, she reveals how she initially welcomed the attention that came with being an "exotic" Asian American woman after feeling invisible during her youth. "Getting older and discovering there are people who like us, it's like a compliment at first," she explains, before describing how this validation ultimately became a trap.
Her memoir weaves in fascinating historical context, exposing how military occupation and media stereotypes created the dual images of Asian women as both submissive geishas and dangerous dragon ladies. And Kaila doesn't shy away from difficult subjects, including her experiences with substance abuse, cosmetic surgery, and sexual assault. Her reflections on changing her name from Elaine to Kyla reveal a poignant attempt to escape feelings of inadequacy—creating a character she thought the world would find more valuable than her authentic self.
What makes this discussion particularly powerful is Kaila's willingness to examine her own complicity in these systems before finding a path toward healing. Through therapy and self-reflection, she's learned to embrace her authentic identity while using her experiences to educate others and articulating how fetishization disguises objectification as appreciation.
Have you considered how stereotypes might be shaping your own perceptions? Listen to this episode for an enlightening conversation that will challenge assumptions and expand your understanding of how race, gender, and media intersect in today's world.
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Have you read “Fetishized"? Share your thoughts with us! Connect with us @babesinbooklandpod or email babesinbooklandpodcast@gmail.com.
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Buy "Fetishized" by Kaila Yu
Transcripts are available through Apple’s podcast app—they may not be perfect, but relying on them allows me to dedicate more time to the show! If you’re interested in being a transcript angel, let me know.
This episode is produced, recorded, and edited by me.
Theme song by Devin Kennedy
Special thanks to Kaila and Lisa!
Xx, Alex
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