Are you selfish?
“Selfish” is supposed to be the insult that ends the conversation, especially for women who were raised to be helpful, agreeable, and endlessly available. We sit down with author Kerry Docherty to pull that word apart and rebuild it into something sharper and more useful: self-awareness, honest boundaries, and the courage to admit what you want before you burn out trying to be “good.” Her memoir, Selfish, becomes the jumping-off point for a raw talk about what it costs to keep giving yourself away and why telling the truth can be both selfish and deeply generous.
We dig into the trap of likability and the ways girls learn early to smooth everything over, including their own anger and ambition. Kerry reflects on privilege and what she has learned from people who have had to live more openly because the world already judges them. We also get practical about modern “self-care,” from doomscrolling dopamine to the quieter work of choosing what actually makes you feel alive, plus what it looks like to model emotional language and bodily autonomy for your kids.
Then the conversation turns toward marriage, work, and longing. Kerry shares what it was like to build the Faherty clothing brand with her husband and his twin brother, how business can strain intimacy, and why writing a memoir is an “act of betrayal” even when it is also an act of love. She opens up about “Beau,” an emotional entanglement that exposes dormant creativity and desire, and we explore a reframe of partnership as something you choose every day rather than a life sentence you simply endure.
If this conversation makes you uncomfortable, we think that is the point. Subscribe for more author interviews, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review with the one boundary you are ready to set next.
Purchase Selfish by Kerry Docherty
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Thank you for listening! Xx, Alex
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