In this solo episode of How To Be In This Body, Ailey Jolie reflects on carrying breast implants for 15 years and the moment she finally had enough capacity to hear the “no” she couldn’t access almost two decades ago. This is a conversation about consent, power, and why trauma tools designed for single events often fail to address lives shaped by repetition, surveillance, and the gaze.
Ailey explores how trauma research centered on male bodies overlooks a common female experience: disembodiment without a clear origin story. From self-objectification to the dulling of interoception, she traces the cultural and clinical forces that teach bodies to doubt their own knowing.
Rather than chasing perfect regulation, this episode reframes healing as capacity—the ability to feel fear, grief, and hope while still moving toward what is right. Distinguishing “scoreboard” healing from “story” healing, it invites a different question: not what broke you, but what you were shaped to hold. This episode is for anyone who’s tried every somatic tool and still feels far from home.
In this episode:
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