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In this powerful and deeply honest episode of Soulful Self-Care Conversations, Pearl sits down with nationally recognized sex and intimacy educator Xanet Pailet, bestselling author of Living an Orgasmic Life and creator of Passionate Intimacy Retreats.

After leaving a 26-year sexless marriage and a high-powered legal career, Xanet helps couples reconnect emotionally and physically by healing the wounds that block true intimacy. She shares her personal story of shame, trauma, disconnection, and rediscovery — and how that journey now fuels her mission to help others build relationships rooted in trust, passion, and safety.

This conversation opens the door to topics too often left unspoken — sexual trauma, performance anxiety, healing communication, and reclaiming pleasure at any age.

What You’ll Hear in This Episode

❤️ How childhood shame and emotional neglect can create lifelong intimacy barriers
 💔 What it’s like to live in a sexless marriage — and how to rediscover desire afterward
 🧠 Why anxiety, trauma, and disconnection can shut the body down physically
 💬 How honest communication and emotional safety are the foundation of great sex
 🌹 The healing power of vulnerability, repair, and forgiveness in relationships
 🔥 How Xanet’s Passionate Intimacy Retreats help couples rebuild connection and pleasure
💫 Why pleasure isn’t just a luxury — it’s a birthright

Key Quotes

• “You can’t talk your way into better sex — you have to feel your way there.” — Xanet Pailet
• “Pleasure is your birthright. When we believe that, everything begins to change.” — Xanet Pailet
• “The difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships is the ability to repair.” — Xanet Pailet
• “Healing sexual trauma begins with creating safety in the body — and in the relationship.” — Pearl
• “We are never too old to reconnect to passion, play, and pleasure.” — Pearl

Gentle Guidance & Takeaways

• Start with safety: Emotional connection comes before physical intimacy.
• Speak your truth: Honest, blame-free communication is the foundation of repair.
• Heal the body: True sexual healing is somatic — felt, not forced.
• Forgive yourself: Shame and guilt keep you from enjoying the love you deserve.
• Learn together: Intimacy skills can be taught, practiced, and strengthened — at any stage of life.

About Xanet Pailet

Xanet is a sex and intimacy coach, author, and retreat leader who has helped thousands of couples transform disconnection into deep emotional and physical closeness. She specializes in helping couples move beyond shame, trauma, and avoidance to rediscover authentic connection and passion.

• Website: howtoimprovemylovelife.com
• Free Gift: Seven 3-minute intimacy tools to improve your love life
• Book: The Sex and Intimacy Repair Kit — pre-order now
• Retreats: Private couples retreats in Asheville, NC, and group retreats in Costa Rica

Journal Prompts

1. What conversations about intimacy am I avoiding — and why?
2. When do I feel most emotionally safe with my partner?
3. How does my body respond when I think about pleasure or desire?
4. What stories from my past still shape how I approach intimacy today?

Call to Action

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