Description

What if you have to make a life-changing decision—but you’re terrified that whatever you choose will make things worse?

For survivors of coercive control, decision-making can feel almost impossible. After years of being punished, criticized, or controlled for everyday choices, even deciding what you want can feel dangerous. Add children, finances, custody, safety, and an unpredictable coercive controller to the equation, and waiting for certainty can feel like the only safe option.

But certainty may never come.

In this episode of Hey Tabi, Tabitha Westbrook explores how coercive control can train survivors out of making decisions—and how you can begin rebuilding that capacity without ignoring the very real risks you may be facing.

You’ll learn:

• Why decision paralysis after coercive control isn’t the same as ordinary indecisiveness
• How fear can shift from a useful warning system into your decision-maker
• Why trying to appease a coercive controller can keep you stuck
• How to separate what you actually know from what fear is predicting
• Why breaking a massive decision into smaller choices can make moving forward possible
• How nervous system regulation can help you see more options
• Why practicing small, everyday choices can rebuild autonomy
• The important difference between making a good decision and getting a good outcome
• Why confidence sometimes comes after you choose, not before

One of the most important questions Tabitha offers in this episode is:

“What is the best decision I can make right now with what I actually know?”

You may not be able to control the outcome. You cannot control what another person chooses to do. But you can learn to make thoughtful, strategic decisions using the information you have, account for real safety concerns, and take the next best step in front of you. 

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/

 This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?

You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V

Support the show

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📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

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📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com

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🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.