Description

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In this "Quiet Confession," I’m taking us back to my second day of perinatal psychiatric hospitalization at UNC Chapel Hill. 

After recently finding the journal I’d kept during my treatment, I reflect on the stark difference between my clinical, "robot-like" recorded entries and the emotional turmoil I was actually experiencing at the time. 

I describe the rigid routines of the unit, the weight of a potential psychosis diagnosis, and the powerful moment a doctor offered to "hold hope" for me when I had none left.

Key Takeaways

• The Clinical Perspective: Chelsea’s journal reads like a "Captain’s Log," focusing on medication, meals, and sleep rather than their internal feelings.
• Morning Routines: Days began at 7:00 a.m. with breakfast and mandatory vitals checks, which remains a sensory trigger for them today.
• Psychiatric Consultations: On their first Monday, they met a team of specialists who initially discussed a potential psychosis diagnosis due to their extreme paranoia and delusions.
• The "Scaffolding" Struggle: In Occupational Therapy (OT), they practiced "scaffolding"—breaking down basic tasks like brushing teeth into minute steps—though they felt physically unable to perform them at the time.
• Holding Hope: A pivotal moment occurred when a doctor offered to "hold hope" for them until they were ready to take it back.

Relevant Links

• Quiet Confessions Substack: For deep dives into the clinical journal entries.
• Postpartum Support International (PSI): Information on support groups, the Alma program, and peer mentoring.
• Instagram: Follow for updates

This episode discusses topics that may be triggering for some individuals. Please check the show notes for more information and be mindful of your own mental health and comfort levels.

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 Special Thanks to Steve Audy for the use of our theme song: Quiet Connection

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