A simple question can expose a lifetime of scripts: what do you want? We unpack why that prompt can feel threatening, trivial, or strangely blank, and trace the roots back to childhood moments where wanting was ignored, shamed, or made expensive. From birthday wishes to high-stakes life decisions, we show how many of us learned to kill off desire or tailor it to others’ capacity—and why that strategy leaves us numb.
Together we explore how faith, psychology, and story work meet at the crossroads of desire. We reflect on C.S. Lewis’s image of mud pies versus the holiday at the sea. Drawing from James, the language of epithumia, and Psalm 27’s gaze upon beauty, we challenge the reflex to label all longing as dangerous and instead offer a path to form desire toward God, beauty, and connection. We also talk about arousal in the broad, embodied sense—what it means when the body wakes toward goodness—and why that energy can feel confusing after the purity culture or sexual abuse.
We address longings that can’t be met right now and why grief—not denial or impulsivity—is the way desire grows up. If you’ve ever said “I don’t care” to avoid disappointment, this is your invitation to care again with wisdom, limits, and hope.
We are forming Story Groups that will begin in January 2026, all the information is on our website StoryMattersCoaching.com or email us with any questions!
