What if the shortest path to joy runs straight through your tears? We sit down with Mary Ellen Owen to unpack why uncomforted harm teaches us to banish tenderness, how that “closed book” stance blocks love, and why grief— often done in the presence of a safe other—becomes embodied surrender that restores our capacity for connection. This conversation bridges trauma theory, attachment, and Christian hope, showing how the Spirit turns stony, stubborn hearts into tender, responsive ones.
We name the defenses that once protected but now imprison, and we explore the “banished feminine” as the lost capacities of openness, need, and comfort that every person carries. You’ll hear practical ways to begin: change your posture to signal intention, seek a wise story-hearer, notice unexpected tears in films, songs, poems, or scripture, and cultivate imagination for God as the tear collector who comes close. Along the way, we wrestle with desire and risk—why grieving well actually expands longing for God and people, and how hope invites us to love again even after deep loss.
Threaded through are anchoring scriptures: Ezekiel’s promise of a heart of flesh, Paul’s mirror of being known, and the Revelation vision of home where God dwells with us and wipes every tear. Rather than managing pain by numbing, we practice grieving as those with hope, enlarging our inner home for the Comforter. If you’ve ever wondered how to move from self-protection to real presence, this is a gentle, courageous guide.
If this resonates, share it with someone who needs permission to cry, subscribe for more story-centered conversations, and leave a review with the question you’re sitting with right now.
We are forming Story Groups that will begin in January 2026, all the information is on our website StoryMattersCoaching.com or email us with any questions!
