Death wasn’t an idea for her growing up—it was something that walked beside her. In this call, we trace a life shaped by early violence in South Africa, a strict Catholic upbringing that equated identity with sin, and a long stretch of years where death felt more like an exit than a fear. She talks about grooming, a marriage built on uneven power, the mental health system that kept missing the mark, and the small, steady voices that helped her stay alive long enough to want to keep living.
From there, the conversation opens into what comes after leaving religion—not certainty, but curiosity. She describes finding a home in the space between belief and unbelief: agnostic, imaginative, drawn to science, and deeply connected to dreams. We talk about grief as something that keeps reshaping itself, why kindness has boundaries, and how repeated loss can change the way you weigh a single day. Discworld’s Death even makes an appearance, offering humor as the unlikely thread that carried her through some of the darkest places.
One moment shifts the whole call: during a recent surgery, she stopped breathing under anesthesia and slipped into a dark, suspended stillness she’d met before in dreams. It didn’t give her answers, but it clarified what matters—write the will, tell people you love them, protect your empathy, and treat life like something you’re choosing, not something you’re surviving. Her belief now is simple and expansive: when we die, we return to a larger field of consciousness, and while we’re here, the only work that matters is how we show up for each other.
Book Recommendation: Discworld Series by Terry Pratchett
If you’d like to watch this conversation instead of just listening, you can find the video version on YouTube.
About When We Die Talks: When We Die Talks is a podcast built around anonymous conversations about death, loss, and how contemplating mortality shapes the way we live. If you’re new here, start with the Episode Guide. It’s designed to help you find conversations that match where you’re at—curiosity, grief, hesitation, or openness.
Stay Connected
🌐 Website: whenwedietalks.com
📰 Substack: When We Die Talks
📸 Instagram: @whenwedietalks
▶️ YouTube: When We Die Talks
🎵 TikTok: @whenwedietalks
📚 Anonymous Book Recommendations
✉️ Email: zach@whenwedietalks.com
Want to share your thoughts? Leave a voicemail at 971-328-0864 and share what you believe happens when we die. Messages may be featured in a future episode. If you’d like to have a full conversation, you can apply to be an anonymous caller at whenwedietalks.com.
