Description

Episode Overview

This listener-inspired Sanity Check explores the discomfort so many of us feel when it comes to saying no or speaking honestly. Aileen and Julie unpack the messy middle between people-pleasing and genuine empathy, and explore the deeper fears—like judgment, rejection, or letting someone down—that keep us stuck in yes-mode even when we're at capacity.

Whether you're someone who always says yes out of habit, fear, or heart, this episode offers research-backed insights and gentle reminders that you're not alone—and that boundaries are not a betrayal of kindness.

Key Discussion Points

• Why we feel guilt or anxiety about saying no—even when it’s justified
• The tug of war between wanting to help and protecting our own peace
• People-pleasing vs. empathy—how to know what’s really driving you
• Social rejection, shame, and conditioning: What the research says
• The power of pausing and checking in with your actual capacity
• How guilt can sometimes be a sign of growth
• Speaking honestly with kindness and clarity

Listener Takeaways

• Saying no doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you honest
• Notice when discomfort is old programming, not a present-day truth
• Ask yourself: Am I afraid of being judged? Or am I truly concerned for the other person?
• Treat yourself like you’d treat a friend: with understanding and compassion
• Growth can feel like guilt—especially when you're not used to honouring your own needs

Join the Conversation

Have you struggled with saying no or speaking up? What helps you navigate the guilt? Drop us a message or leave us a DM—we’d love to hear your thoughts and stories. Let’s make boundary-setting feel a little less lonely.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

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Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.