Have you tried to be more conflict competent but what you tried wasn't successful? Yeah, it's frustrating to try without improving the relationship or ending the conflict.
But, was your goal to succeed in being conflict competent, or to win?
When you try to be conflict competent, you're practicing your skills. You improve, you owned your conflict; that's success. Conflict competency is a continual process of practicing better skills to not have arguments and to amicably resolve any that you do have.
You change your pattern to conflict competency and that is the success. If you feel like your attempt 'failed' it means you haven't succeeded YET. If you practice while you're calm, you can become conflict competent, even in the pressure of a conflict.
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Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share.
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