Forgiveness isn’t “forgive and forget.” Real forgiveness doesn’t erase what happened — it helps you stop the past from controlling your present.
In this episode of Beat The Mental Health Out Of It! (AKA “BTMHOOI!”), Nicholas Wichman (“The DEFECTIVE Schizoaffective”) and co-host Tony Medeiros (“IndyPocket”) get brutally honest about what forgiveness looks like when real harm has happened: not excusing it, not minimizing it, and not bypassing accountability — but learning how to cope without losing yourself.
Using personal stories — including suicide loss within a family and traumatic relationship experiences — we break down how forgiveness, accountability, boundaries, and atonement fit together. Because sometimes the missing piece isn’t your willingness to forgive. It’s whether the harm is actually owned, repaired, and changed. And when that piece never shows up, “forgive and forget” can turn into a trap that keeps you stuck, resentful, or retraumatized.
Content note: discussion of suicide loss and heavy trauma themes.
In this episode, we talk about:
Why “forgive and forget” is a myth (and what forgiveness actually is)
If you’re stuck trying to forgive someone who won’t own what they did (or you’re trying to forgive without betraying yourself), join our Discord “The Struggle Bus” and drop the situation — we’ll help you sort accountability, atonement, and boundaries without gaslighting yourself. (link below)
Beat The Mental Health Out Of It! (AKA “BTMHOOI!”) is a candid mental health podcast rooted in lived experience: schizoaffective disorder, schizophrenia spectrum psychosis, BPD, PTSD, trauma recovery, coping skills, and dark humor that helps make serious mental illness more understandable and human.
Hosted by Nicholas Wichman (“The DEFECTIVE Schizoaffective”) with frequent co-host Tony Medeiros (“IndyPocket”), we cover psych wards, psychiatric medication, disability, religious trauma, good therapy, bad therapy, and practical real-world coping — plus the societal and relationship issues that shape mental health every day. The goal isn’t just “fighting stigma.” It’s education, clarity, and honest conversation.
We interview everyone from everyday people to public figures, clinicians, and professionals, because mental health struggles don’t care who you are. If you’re willing to share your story or expertise, we aim to offer a safe, judgment-free space where you can speak openly — and still have some fun while doing it.
New episodes drop every other Monday at 6am EDT.
Want community and support? Join our Discord, “The Struggle Bus”: https://discord.gg/emFXKuWKNA
All links (TikTok, YouTube, Streaming, etc.): https://linktr.ee/BTMHOOI
Podcast cover art by Ryan Manning
