Cranberry Lies, Toe Woes, & Couch Bros
Thanksgiving may be about gratitude, family, and carbs... but this episode? This episode is about broken toes, cranberry lies, and the kind of courtroom dialogue that somehow aired on cable without triggering an FCC raid. David and Chris come in hot, starting with a Harry Potter stand-up clip that immediately gets Avada Roasted into oblivion. Then it's off the rails into Thanksgiving chaos: what even is cranberry “sauce”? Why do rolls disappear like socks in the dryer? And is it stuffing or dressing—or just whatever your aunt ruins every year?
Somehow, we also landed on Sanford & Son dropping the hardest courtroom line since Judge Judy got sassy, Rosa Parks dying more recently than your brain is ready for, and Chris’s new couch that’s so big it might qualify for its own lease. Oh, and for some reason Chris is able to remotely start the car he sold to a stranger. You know, totally normal stuff. Things spiraled, as usual. Chris interviewed a guy whose entire resume was “I’m good at stuff.” Sprinkle in NFL stats, Reddit rabbit holes, “drunk uncle or philosopher?” guessing games, and some good ol’ fashioned bathroom stall poetry—because nothing says male bonding like graffiti and historical trivia.
🎯 If this fever dream of a podcast made you laugh, cry, or question the structure of society, do the thing: comment, subscribe, and slam that like button harder than Chris slammed that couch into his apartment. Or don’t. But then we’ll assume you're the “1” who voted against releasing the Epstein files.
Now let’s make POUR CHOICES!
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Chapters
00:00 – INTRO
8:34 – A MAGICAL ROAST
10:51 – TOE UPDATE
15:11 – WHY IS IT CALLED CRANBERRY SAUCE?
17:16 – ROLLS, ROLLS, & MORE ROLLS
19:08 – STUFFING VS DRESSING
20:49 – WOULD YOU RATHER – THANKSGIVING EDITION
25:17 – IT'S SANFORD, SON!
27:23 – ROSA PARKS
28:05 – IDIOM ORIGINS
39:09 – “I’M GOOD AT STUFF”
41:44 – NAME THAT THING
45:08 – BIG COMFY COUCH
53:16 – FORDPASS APP
57:15 – 427 to 1
59:49 – ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY
1:07:47 – CRAZY NFL STATS & FACTS – ROUND 9
1:12:06 – WHO SAID IT – A DRUNK UNCLE OR A FAMOUS PERSON?
1:15:39 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
1:17:29 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
1:18:49 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT HAVE PEOPLE BEGUN TO FORGET OVER TIME?
1:24:20 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT IS THE BATHROOM GRAFFITI YOU READ & REMEMBER?
1:31:13 – THIS DAY IN HISTORY
1:33:04 – OUTRO
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