What does it mean to be “too much” in a world that tells you to quiet down? In this episode, Karen and Jonelle wrestle with emotional regulation, not as a healthy coping skill, but as a tool shaped by white supremacy culture. They explore how white norms have defined what counts as “appropriate” emotion, from the weaponization of white women’s tears to the silencing of grief, passion, and neurodiverse expression. Through personal stories—from navigating neurodiversity in their family to cultural experiences of communal mourning—they expose how “calm” often means “comfortable for whiteness.” The episode also dives into toxic positivity, performative boundaries, and what true emotional honesty might look like if we stopped measuring it by white patriarchal standards. As always, the goal is not perfection, but presence. Can we show up as our full, feeling selves?
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