Thoughts or comments? Send us a text!
The coping skills that made you impressive might be the same ones keeping you lonely. We sit down with Ingeborg Mooiweer, a therapist and executive coach, to talk honestly about what it’s like to grow up with a narcissistic mother and how that kind of childhood trauma can rewrite your identity, your self-trust, and your relationships. When love is inconsistent and anger turns into silence or blame, you learn to shrink, scan every room, and question your feelings before you ever question the adult in charge.
We unpack the survival strategies many women carry into adulthood: hyper-independence, perfectionism, control, and people pleasing that looks “high functioning” from the outside. Ingeborg explains her framework of survival codes like the performer, the controller, and the harmonizer or rescuer and why these patterns can drive career success while quietly sabotaging connection at home. We also talk about how healing often happens in layers, how postpartum depression can expose deeper roots beneath the hormones, and how grief and loss can become a powerful catalyst for self-compassion and change.
If you’ve ever thought, “I’m fine, I don’t have time to deal with this,” we challenge that reflex with practical insight and a gentler truth: you survived the way you needed to, and you can choose new responses now. Listen for therapy-informed language around the amygdala, nervous system safety, boundaries, and what it takes to stop shrinking and start taking up space. If this resonates, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more women can find this conversation.
You can find Ingeborg HERE
https://metamindbreakthrough.com/
BUY ME A COFFEE or SUPPORT ALFIE'S TREAT STASH
Learn more about my book, Nature Knows: Grow and Thrive through the Wisdom of Plants HERE.
Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.
Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets
Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!
