In this episode, Ben Raya and I explore the quiet grief at the heart of modern masculinity: the split between providing for our families and being present with them.
I share my original song “Sometimes in Life I Get Called Away,” a tender reflection on my relationship with my father—being paged to work in moments when I longed most for connection. The song opens a doorway into the inherited patterns many men carry around duty, love, and absence.
Ben offers a powerful framework for understanding this split:
the masculine as the energy of the periphery—the builder, explorer, and provider—and the feminine as the energy of the center—presence, intimacy, and home. We unpack the danger of endless expansion without the devotion of returning to center.
Our conversation weaves through meditation as a masculine practice, the collective shadow of productivity, and how disconnection from pleasure fuels constant doing. We reflect on how the loss of the pleasure of being shapes our relationships, our sexuality, and our capacity to stay.
We close by touching on tantra as a living paradox—honoring what feels good while remaining present when it doesn’t—and the sacred union between effort and ease, expansion and return.
