We tackle the thorny issue of extracurricular activities in high-conflict co-parenting situations, navigating the clashing perspectives of legal rights versus psychological wellbeing of children. This candid conversation reveals how activities meant to enrich children's lives often become battlegrounds between divorced parents.
• Understanding that high-conflict dynamics don't require mental health issues—context and circumstances create conflict between any two people
• Recognizing that children don't calculate parenting time—they just want to participate in activities they love
• Extracurricular activities offer numerous benefits: physical health, improved self-esteem, reduced anxiety, enhanced social skills
• The "parent-coach" dynamic creates unique challenges when coaching positions become mechanisms for control
• Sometimes being the "bigger parent" means stepping back from conflict even when you're right
• Children may tell different stories to each parent, creating triangulation that worsens co-parenting conflicts
• Creating specific parenting plans that address extracurricular activities helps prevent ongoing disputes
• Using neutral communication tools like co-parenting apps can reduce conflict and provide documentation
Check out our app Split Up for resources and tips on effective co-parenting in all areas, not just during divorce and separation, but for the ongoing journey of co-parenting.
