Horror Month rolls into Week 3 with trailers, weird new releases, anime, haunted hotels, Italian insanity and a movie called Pieces that absolutely lives up to its reputation.
00:02:08 — RIP RJ Mitte
A sad start with the passing of Breaking Bad actor RJ Mitte, his disability advocacy, reactions from his former castmates and the reminder that 34 is way too damn young.
00:07:23 — River Trailer
Jane Levy heads into a backwoods survival/slasher setup involving siblings, their father’s ashes, a busted boat and a creepy bastard swimming toward them from shore. Trailer verdict: this looks pretty damn good.
00:08:25 — The Misadventures of Cliff Booth
Brad Pitt’s Once Upon a Time in Hollywood character gets his own movie, with David Fincher directing. That combination alone is enough to earn attention.
00:10:27 — Narnia: The Magician’s Nephew
The new Narnia trailer looks promising, although casting Meryl Streep as Aslan leads to the important question: how exactly is that voice going to work?
00:11:53 — The Rescue
Cowboy. Kidnapped daughter. Angry father going after the people who took her. Sometimes you really don’t need much more than that.
LISTS
00:13:27 — 8 New Horror Movies Released This Week — Bloody Disgusting
The weekly horror-release list brings us everything from Attack of the Killer Tomatoes: Organic Intelligence to Last Chance Motel, Vampire Carnival, Other Mommy, an R.L. Stine project and somehow a horror movie called Flush about a guy getting his head stuck in a toilet.
00:15:12 — Old Horror Website Beef Returns
Mentioning Bloody Disgusting resurrects some old Horror Club-era rivalry involving Dread Central, Arrow in the Head and Bloody Disgusting. Apparently grudges age beautifully.
00:19:12 — Pan’s Labyrinth Returns to Theaters
The 20th-anniversary rerelease sparks some Guillermo del Toro appreciation and memories of seeing it theatrically the first time around.
00:20:33 — Glorious
A guy trapped in a rest-stop bathroom with an eldritch being on the other side of a glory hole still sounds like a terrible pitch — and somehow became a genuinely funny, creepy and emotional movie.
Also, this predates the Media Gloryhole Podcast name. Probably.
00:22:00 — Bubba Ho-Tep
Elvis and JFK fighting a soul-sucking mummy in a nursing home is another perfect example of a synopsis that sounds completely idiotic until somebody actually makes a damn good movie out of it.
00:24:01 — Media Glory Hole Funeral Homes
Buy one burial, get one half off. Conveniently located next to Glory Hole Donuts.
Come for the coffee, stay forever.
OT
00:26:12 — Welcome to OT
The off-topic segment accidentally gets an official name, which probably means it’s now legally binding.
00:26:59 — Hokum — Hulu
Adam Scott plays a damaged, obnoxious author who heads to Ireland and gets tangled up with a haunted hotel and a witch.
Creepy, solid and worth watching, but not quite an instant classic.
Rating: 3/5
00:28:37 — Crystal Lake
The Friday the 13th series goes into Jason and Pamela Voorhees’ backstory. It’s bloody, well-made and much stranger than expected, including some government-experiment mythology that somehow hasn’t completely pissed anybody off yet.
00:33:03 — Berserk — Crunchyroll
Restarting from the Golden Age material clears up the backstory and immediately sends the series way up the anime rankings.
War story, Griffith, Guts, horrifying violence, the Eclipse and a hard reminder that this is absolutely not for children.
ITALIAN HORROR CHALLENGE — WEEK 3
00:43:58 — Pieces (1983) — Tubi
The third Italian Horror Challenge delivers one of the month’s most gloriously stupid experiences: chainsaws, severed body parts, inexplicable kung-fu attacks, bizarre dialogue, ridiculous characters and an ending that somehow manages to get even dumber after the killer is already dealt with.
00:50:20 — Surprise Kung-Fu Attack
A completely unrelated Bruce Lee knockoff wanders into Pieces, attacks an undercover cop, gets hit in the balls and then wanders back out of the movie.
Cinema.
00:52:52 — The Pieces Ending
A corpse made from stitched-together body parts suddenly grabs a guy by the crotch, and then the movie freeze-frames.
Because apparently ending normally was never an option.
01:06:10 — Pieces Verdict
Trashy? Absolutely. Stupid? Without question. Entertaining the entire time? Pretty much.
Rating: 3.5/5
NEXT ITALIAN HORROR CHALLENGE
01:09:58 — Suspiria — Tubi
Next week goes back to Dario Argento with the original Suspiria.
Witches, Goblin soundtrack and two more weeks of Tony wondering how much Italian horror one human being is expected to endure.
MGP MOMENTS
00:10:00 — Everybody Survives. Happy Ending.
Just rewrite depressing movies in your head.
00:15:14 — Bloody Disgusting Beef
Old grudges die harder than horror villains.
00:18:56 — Cheese Grater Review Scale
A new benchmark for bad cinema.
00:21:35 — The Glory Hole Origin Story
Maybe Glorious planted a seed.
00:24:17 — Glory Hole Funeral Homes
00:30:03 — Make It Make Sense
The unofficial third MGP tagline.
00:43:01 — Invisible Man Costume
An empty box for $79.99.
00:50:20 — Random Kung-Fu Attack
00:52:52 — Pieces Goes for the Crotch
01:10:52 — “I Don’t Know How Much More Italian Shit I Get.”
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