So many moms feel touched out by the end of the day and don't want their husband to touch them, especially not in lovemaking.
How do you handle this?
In this episode, Sarah shares 4 tips for handling that touched-out feeling that affects moms with young kids as well as other hands-on caregivers.
1. Set boundaries with your kids to save yourself from some of the unwanted touches throughout the day--for example, teach them not to tug at your clothes, if that drives you nuts.
2. Take the time you need to reset and regulate after a high-touch day. You can calm your nervous system down. Scrolling and screens won't do this; a walk, a book, quiet time by yourself can. After you reset, you might be more open to touch than you thought you could be.
3. Your back, feet, and legs probably aren't touched-out. It's usually your arms, upper torso, head, and maybe core/ lap area that are. After you reset, invite your husband to touch you in those places that haven't been overstimulated. Try a back massage, a foot rub, or a leg massage first. Once you're feeling good from those touches, you will likely feel more open to touch in your upper torso, arms, head, and core/pelvis/lap area.
4. Are you an HSP? Take the quiz to see if you're a Highly Sensitive Person. https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/ Learning that you are an HSP can help you learn how to take care of yourself better. Know that overstimulation from touch will affect you more than others, and give yourself extra reset time and white space in your day.
Learn more about the superpowers and sufferings of being an HSP at hsperson.com, and learn to talk with your husband about your bubble. Sometimes your bubble of personal space will be big, other times smaller and more porous. Use this, or some other image, to communicate with your husband about whether coming in for some touch is welcome or not at any given time.
MORE RESOURCES
Free Enhancing Marital Intimacy Guide for Catholic Women: 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit (for married and engaged women)
Do you want to know what is allowed for Catholics in the bedroom? The "What's Allowed List" answers 20+ questions about what is licit and illicit. ($10)
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