What does it cost a man to be “the strong one” when a pregnancy ends in heartbreak—twice? Jeff joins us to share the raw truth of losing two sons, the impossible medical decisions along the way, and the lonely aftermath of leaving a hospital with empty arms. He takes us from Nebraska to North Carolina in search of healing, recounts the care gap that delayed a recommended cerclage, and explains how a single question from a clinician—“How are you doing?”—finally gave him permission to grieve.
We explore how grief stresses a marriage, why male roles often default to fixer and protector, and how that script can trap men in silence. Jeff describes the turning point that led him to write Holding On To The Light, a short, powerful book for fathers of loss that weaves real stories of infertility, IVF ethics, and trisomy 18 into a narrative men can actually finish and use. You’ll hear how words became a lifeline for couples who didn’t know how to talk about their pain, and how proactive advocacy—second opinions, clear thresholds, timely cerclage—can shape outcomes without promising guarantees.
This conversation is also a roadmap to community. Jeff spotlights Sad Dads Club and NICU dad networks that replace isolation with honest brotherhood, where men share wins, memorials, and setbacks without shame. We offer practical guidance for supporting bereaved parents—presence over platitudes, specific help over vague comfort—and simple systems couples can use to protect connection when waves of grief return. By the end, you’ll understand why visibility for fathers doesn’t diminish mothers; it strengthens families. And you’ll feel how love can hold sorrow and hope at the same time.
Buy the book / Connect with Jeff: Amazon
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