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Episode 4: Trauma, Fantasy & Porn — Understanding the Meaning Beneath Desire

Season 1 — Pornography in Context

Why are some people drawn to intense fantasies, extreme porn, or BDSM — especially after trauma? And how do we know when these desires are healing, harmful, or simply misunderstood?

In this deeply insightful episode of Complex Sex, Dr. Mallorie Sorce sits down with Dr. Holly Richmond, one of the nation’s leading experts in sexual trauma, somatic psychology, and erotic recovery. Together, they unpack how unresolved trauma can shape our sexual desires, fantasies, and porn use — and why the meaning beneath the fantasy matters far more than the content itself.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What trauma mastery is, and why people may unconsciously revisit themes from past trauma in porn or fantasy
• How repetition compulsion and nervous system responses explain patterns that feel confusing or shameful
• Why intense or taboo porn doesn’t necessarily signal pathology — it often signals a deeper emotional need
• How compulsive porn use differs from intentional erotic exploration
• The difference between numbing, self-soothing, and seeking intensity to “feel alive”
• How sexual behavior can regulate the nervous system — both up and down
• Why BDSM can be a profoundly healing space for survivors when practiced with consent, negotiation, and structure
• Understanding consensual non-consent, “forced seduction fantasies,” and why they’re far more common (and normal) than people realize
• How somatic therapy helps survivors reconnect with choice, agency, and eroticism
• Ways therapists can help clients shift from shame to empowerment
• When porn use becomes distressing — and what warning signs actually matter
• How to cultivate erotic flexibility, expand fantasy beyond porn, and rebuild healthy arousal pathways

Perfect for listeners interested in:

• Trauma recovery through a sex-positive lens
• The psychology of porn use and fantasy
• BDSM, kink, and power dynamics
• Nervous system regulation and somatic healing
• Healing sexual shame
• Understanding “taboo” desires without judgment

Dr. Richmond offers grounding, compassionate insights drawn from decades of clinical experience, research, and somatic work. This episode reframes “problematic porn use” and “taboo fantasies” through an entirely new lens — one centered in meaning, nervous system responses, and the human drive for connection, agency, and aliveness.

If you’ve ever wondered why you or someone you love is drawn to certain fantasies — or if you want a shame-free understanding of trauma, desire, and erotic healing — this episode will change the way you think about sexuality.

Up next: Sexual fantasy as a tool for healing — what desire reveals about identity, power, and pleasure.

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Follow Dr. Mallorie Sorce:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmalloriesorce

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mallorie-sorce-8729a1122

Learn more at: https://www.healingheartscounseling.co