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Feeling overwhelmed and like you’ve lost yourself in the chaos of motherhood?
You’re not alone. And you don’t have to keep feeling this way.
I created this FREE guide for you:
🎁 The Overwhelmed Mom’s Guide: 10 Small Changes to Start Feeling Like You Again
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Ep. 37 How Avoidant Attachment Impacts Motherhood with Bev Mitelman
If motherhood has ever made you wonder, “Why do I react like this?” or “Why do I need so much space when I love my kids so much?” — you’re not alone. So many moms quietly carry the fear that something is “wrong” with them because they get overstimulated, shut down, or feel irritable in the chaos of everyday life.
In this episode, Bev Mitelman breaks that shame wide open.
Bev is a certified attachment practitioner and the founder of Securely Loved, and she has spent 25+ years helping people understand their attachment patterns so they can reconnect with themselves and the people they love. Her work is deeply personal — she grew up in chaos, learned to shut down emotionally, and rebuilt her own attachment style through healing.
Her honesty makes this episode feel like a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.
💛 “Avoidant” Isn’t What Most Moms Think
Avoidant and fearful-avoidant attachment styles don’t always look like detachment.
They often look like:
These patterns usually come from childhood experiences where emotions weren’t met with comfort. Maybe you grew up hearing:
“Stop crying.”
“You’re fine.”
“Don’t make a big deal out of it.”
“Handle it yourself.”
“You’re too sensitive.”
So you did.
You learned to shut down your needs.
You learned to stay quiet.
And now as a mom, those patterns show up in the moments when you’re most overwhelmed.
🌱 A Real Moment That So Many Moms Will Relate To
One of the most vulnerable parts of this episode is the conversation about the after-school “witching hours.”
So many moms feel guilty because:
“I haven’t seen them all day — why do I already need a break?”
Bev explained that this is actually one of the most common triggers for avoidant wiring:
And when the nervous system is maxed out, it will shut down or react.
Her advice?
Create a rhythm that includes together time and alone time for everyone.
Togetherness
→ Snack
→ A few minutes alone to decompress
→ Reconnection
This builds secure attachment — not avoidant attachment.
And it helps you show up with more patience, presence, and emotional bandwidth.
Connect With Bev Mitelman
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SecurelyLoved
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/securely_loved/
P.S. If this episode resonates with you, please reach out. I truly want to hear your story. You can DM me on Instagram @jenaburris or email me at jena@jenaburris.com. Your voice matters — and I’m here for you.
