“If you don’t find a romantic, sexual partner, you will be alone forever.”
That’s the story many of us are sold: if you’re not in a couple, you’re failing at connection. For David Jay, it was more than a fear — it felt like a guarantee. As an asexual person, he couldn’t see himself in the scripts our culture hands us about love, partnership, and family.
Today, he’s living a life his younger self didn’t think was possible:
In this conversation, Dr. Payal Beri sits down with David Jay — founder of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) and author of Relationality: How Moving from Transactional to Transformational Relationships Can Reshape Our Lonely World — to rethink what counts as a “real” relationship.
They dive into why we treat romantic love as the only path out of loneliness, how capitalism and tech have turned connection into a transaction, and what it would look like to normalize all forms of love: platonic, communal, familial, and interdependent.
If you’ve ever felt “behind” because you’re not partnered, wondered if you’re “the problem” for not fitting the couple script, or craved a life built on chosen family and community — this episode offers a different map.
🔍 In This Episode, We Talk About:
Practical steps to build community
From game nights and taco runs to recurring meetups: small, repeatable actions that turn strangers into real relationships over time.
Connect with David Jay:
Connect with Dr. Payal Beri & Reframing Perspectives:
