In this week’s episode, Jelani and Spencer explore the unspoken rules of parenting, cultural identity, and community responsibility - all through the lens of real-life fatherhood moments. From a deep dive into Indigenous and Black American histories to the hilarity of raising left-handed kids in a right-handed world, this episode is packed with laugh-out-loud stories, social commentary, and heart-centered gems.
🧠 What We Talk About:
- Cultural Identity & History: The guys unpack the evolution of terms like “Indian” vs. “Native American” and explore deep ancestral ties, touching on the Foundation of Black Americans and connections to indigenous history.
- Parenting in Real Time: Jelani celebrates his kids finally learning to clean up after themselves and reflects on how that freedom shifted his parenting style from controlling to collaborative. Spencer adds his take on teaching cause and effect through toys and lotion routines.
- The Lefty Life: Jelani’s son is officially left-handed, which opens up a full-blown segment on lefty struggles - from spiral notebooks to getting hit by baseballs. Spencer, a proud lefty, shares gems about adapting to a righty world and learning to let your kid “cook” with their dominant hand.
- Saying Goodbye to a Home: Spencer preps for a house cooling party (yes, you read that right), reminiscing on 10 years of memories, community, and legendary backyard moments. Dom Kennedy soundtrack included.
- Back to School at 35: Spencer announces he’s starting a master’s program in Entertainment & Leadership at LMU to learn the business and finance side of film/TV. He reflects on skipping industry “steps,” owning his value, and mentoring his cohort with lived experience.
- Boundary-Setting in Public Spaces: A Trader Joe’s incident sparks a conversation about unsolicited hair-touching, identity assumptions, and when (and how) to teach strangers the importance of personal space - especially when it comes to our kids.
- Names Matter: The guys talk about the tension of forgetting names in high-traffic environments like fitness classes, using tricks to avoid awkward moments, and why being seen and remembered means so much.
- Colorism & Racial Identity: Jelani shares the moment his light-skinned son declared he was “gold,” not Black, and the larger conversation that opened up about how we talk about color, race, and identity with our children.
💬 Memorable Quotes
“You’re trying to have this kid conform to your comfort instead of who he naturally is.” – Spencer
“You don’t have to correct everybody. But if I correct you, and you mess it up again… now we got a problem.” – Spencer
“Your baby is white.” – A random dude in Oakland, with full confidence 😂 – Jelani
“We’re all carrying a piece of the invisible thread of humanity. Returning the shopping cart is part of that thread.” – Spencer
🧠 Reflections:
This episode is a masterclass in embracing duality; humor and depth, tradition and growth, personal freedom and social responsibility. Whether you’re a lefty, a parent, or just trying to return your metaphorical shopping cart, this one’s got something for you.
🔗 Connect with Us:
- Follow us on IG: @highervalleyspodcast
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- Subscribe, rate, and review: It helps more fathers (and future fathers) find the village they never knew they needed.
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