What happens after you ask for help — and the help still does not come?
This episode lives in that space.
In a raw and deeply honest conversation, James opens up about the months that followed reaching out for mental health support — an eight-month wait that became one of the most challenging chapters of his life. It is a story shaped by grief, pressure, responsibility, and the quiet reality that resilience sometimes has to last far longer than anyone warns you it will.
James speaks openly about the weight of being “the happy one” — the person others lean on, the one who keeps everything moving, while slowly unravelling behind the scenes. He shares the reality of supporting a daughter living with a serious eating disorder, navigating a system that keeps shifting the rules, and standing firm in the belief that men’s voices belong at the centre of mental health conversations — not on the margins.
This episode shines a light on experiences many across the UK — and around the world — will recognise:
being reassessed because life circumstances changed, being redirected to new services with fresh waiting lists, and the crushing sense of starting again just as hope begins to return. We also talk candidly about the emotional impact of social media — how curated happiness can deepen isolation, and why honest, balanced stories do far more good than flawless feeds ever could.
But this conversation is not only about what is broken.
It is about what keeps people going.
James shares what is helping now: peer-led spaces like Andy’s Man Club and local initiatives such as Bottled Up Blokes — places where men can walk in, sit down, and be heard without fixing, performing, or pretending. We explore practical tools listeners can use immediately: asking twice, listening properly, setting early warning signs, and choosing one small joy that reliably lifts the day.
For James, that joy arrived unexpectedly — musical theatre nights with his son. For someone listening, it might be a short walk to a community room where someone remembers your name.
This episode is for anyone who has ever:
If this resonates, follow the show, share this episode with someone who needs it, and leave a review so these stories can reach further.
And when the episode ends, send a message to someone you care about — and ask the second question:
How are you really?
In this episode, we explore:
• men masking pain as “the happy one”
• eight-month waits and redirected mental health support
• grief compounding existing mental health struggles
• supporting a child with an eating disorder
• charities bridging gaps in UK mental health services
• peer groups as fast access, safety, and belonging
• how to ask twice — and truly listen
• social media pressure on men and young people
• early warning signs and personal coping tools
• kindness online and the cost of casual comments
• small joys that build resilience and hope
Please visit www.belltrades.co.uk
— and if a friend mentions a kitchen or bathroom, put them in touch with Bell Trades
