In this magical episode, we fight through some cursed or possibly possessed recording software to conjure up some great examples of how Christianity and witchcraft are pretty goddamn similar. And if the recording seems a little glitchy, just blame God, because we did our best (which obviously is NEVER good enough for that narcissist).
We get down to the nitty gritty and ask the burning bush questions like; Why is men’s blood good, women’s blood gross and lamb’s blood as valuable as a firstborn son? Why did they steal all the holidays from the Pagans just to pass them off as their own, yet somehow made them way less cool? And why is a man in a dress allowed to swing a ball of incense around his congregation, but you sage your house after a bad one night stand, and you deserve to be burned at the stake?
Join us on this twisted, semi-coherent journey where a father almost sacrifices his son and then in a real plot twist, a different father *actually* sacrifices his son who’s also himself, and maybe a ghost too? Lucky for him, he only had to spend one weekend in a cave possibly getting some intense spa treatments. I mean, how else do you explain that glow? Maybe it was Mary Magdalene’s magic hands? Or was it the microneedling?
The bottom line is; psychics are evil but prophets are holy, prayer totally works but manifestation is bullshit, a cross necklace has power, but crystals are just Satan rocks, and David Blane ain’t got shit on Jesus!
