Sometimes the things we reach for to cope slowly become the things we feel trapped by. A glass of wine at the end of a long day. Something to take the edge off anxiety. Something that promises connection, relaxation, or a moment of relief from the noise of everyday life.
In this week’s episode of A Thought I Kept, I talk to sober coach, sober mentor, and writer Ellie Nova about our relationship with alcohol, emotions, and the stories many of us carry about coping.
Ellie shares the thought that changed everything for her: there is nothing wrong with you.
For years she believed that struggling with alcohol meant she was broken. But through a different way of understanding addiction, emotions, and self-compassion, she began to see something else entirely. Not a personal failure, but a human response to pain, loneliness, and the ways many of us learn to numb what we feel.
Together we explore why alcohol can become intertwined with everyday emotional life from anxiety and overwhelm to loneliness, shame, and the longing to belong. We talk about the cultural stories that tell us drinking helps us relax, connect, and cope, and what happens when those stories start to feel less true.
About Ellie Nova:
Ellie is a sober coach, sober mentor, writer and mother who lives in Lewes, East Sussex. In 2018, after more than a decade feeling trapped by alcohol and full of shame, she discovered a radical new approach to recovery that changed her life. Now six years free from alcohol - with no desire to drink - Ellie supports courageous women to reclaim their power and break free from alcohol for good.
Website | Substack | Instagram | Women's sobriety support circle
Show notes:
This Naked Mind — by Annie Grace
The Little Book of Big Change — by Amy Johnson
Alcohol Explained — by William Porter
The Biology of Desire — by Marc Lewis
This is A Thought I Kept — Weekly conversations about the ideas that stay. Listen every Monday morning for a new thought to hold onto this week.
About Claire Fitzsimmons
Claire is the host of A Thought I Kept, a wellbeing writer and the co-founder of If Lost Start Here. As an ICF Associate Certified Coach and a certified Emotions Coach Practitioner, Claire helps people navigate the everyday lost moments of their lives and all the feelings, from anxiety to grief, overwhelm to disconnection. Find out about working with Claire here. Claire's first book is out now here.
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