Description

Being the “good guy” at work sounds great on paper.

You’re empathetic. You listen. You try to do right by people. You avoid unnecessary conflict. You take the high road, even when it stings a little.

But over time, that version of leadership can start to cost you.

In this episode, Erny and Ryan unpack what happens when being the good guy quietly slides into people-pleasing, conflict avoidance, and eventually burnout.

We get into:

• How empathy can quietly turn into people-pleasing
• Erny’s story of letting small behavior slide until it became a fairness and favoritism problem
• Why “being the hero” for your team can actually make everything harder
• Holding people accountable without becoming the office hard-ass
• The emotional weight of being everyone’s “go-to” person
• Why good-guy leaders burn out faster than we want to admit
• How to set boundaries before you hit the “I’m done” wall
• Being honest when you’re not at 100%, and how to lean on your team
• Doing the right thing even when it costs you time, energy, or popularity

We’re not telling you to stop being the good guy. The point is to stay compassionate without losing yourself; to care about your people and hold the line on what your role actually requires.

If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “I’m trying to do right by everyone… so why am I the one who’s exhausted?” this one’s for you.

Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley.

• Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose.
• Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development.

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