I’ve come to believe that anything worthwhile rests on a knife’s edge, balanced by a paradox that I can only compare to the delicate act of falling asleep—because it’s only when I do not think about sleep that I can fall asleep.
When I got sober eleven years ago, they told me to take it a day at a time, although this cliché comes with a silent, contradictory wish: a day at a time so I will never drink again and wreck my only life. I’ve also learned the hard way that the only way to avoid a panic attack is to not worry about having a panic attack. And if I do not want to squander this life as a cheap cynic or an insufferable zealot, doubt and faith must exist in equal measure.
These paradoxes can probably be unwound all the way back to the Buddha’s claim that “non-practice is my practice, the attainment of non-attainment.” But I like to think of the rare zone between two opposing conditions as the Tannhäuser Gate.
Enough philosophy. Onwards to tonight’s maximum-strength Blade Running mix. It opens with a sequence of neon-soaked synthesizers, then we’ll take a breather before ramping up to an end-of-days song that sounds like klieg lights sweeping across a fiery sky. As usual, this mix comes packaged with a heavy dose of reverb and some fractured ballads.
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