What is the perfect husband ? , the title of my song we are unpicking ? Well let’s start with the perfect wife , shall we. Of course, what adds up to ‘perfect’ differs for all of us. It's probably better to think of what makes up a good relationship. The experts tell me ( PS I’m no expert !) it’s all down to mutual respect, trust and honesty, effective communication, kindness and empathy, shared vales and goals, independence, interdependence and a clear ‘sense of partnership’. Of course, these qualities should be reciprocal.
Traditionally the perfect wife would be a homemaker and a caretaker but all this has changed. Compatibility is probably the overall quality we are all looking for. Do you want an adventure or the quiet life ?. The red flags to avoid are an expectation of sacrifice, rigid rules and being held responsible for the other persons happiness. A supporting and loving husband ( i.e. Mr Perfect) has emotional integrity ( that is available and self aware ), has unwavering respect for his partner, and views everything as 50/50 or sharing the load, not just helping when he is asked. He is also trustworthy and reliable. He might even be a master communicator and a true team mate ( at this point I’m probably scoring 6 out of 10).In the past the perfect husband was solely a provider and a protector. In today's world it has all changed. Now he is expected to be a nurturer (children and the home) and being a ‘feminist ally’ ( crikey moses !-my score is now down to 4 out of 10).I suppose none of us are mind readers and don’t operate to an agreed check list. The objective I suppose is to find an imperfect partner ( as we all are ) and try and build a life together that suits both people. By the way the phrase crikey moses is a ‘minced oath’. It avoids the word Christ and god or taking the Lord's name in vain. Steve Irwin made it popular as the ‘Crocodile Hunter.’ – food for thought !
The songs hero sets out his stall early and straight to the point. There is no messing about with this guy. He sings ‘You’re the best thing, thats happened. I'll try and be, the perfect husband’ He then alludes to the challenge of such an endeavour by singing , ‘Yes, we both have similar fears. Dont make me wait for five years. But our man is in a rush ( which might be a mistake) and sings, ‘ Everything, could disappear yesterday. Getting married to you is my destiny’. He is also honest about being a bit of a worrier singing, ‘Worrying, doesn’t get you anywhere. No one does it like me, I despair’. None the less he marches on with a key verse, where he is looking to seal the deal, ‘We shared an intimate dinner. I told you I love you, in a whisper’. Then he briefly refers to past mistakes and an Alica Keys song. He sings ,’
Forget what’s happened in our past. No more mistakes. This will last. Does anyone know the words to. The song, ‘If I Ain ’t Got you’ It’s time to share, in a better place. I’ve found love at last, after a chase'. Then he comes in with a lovely comment ‘I’ve learnt a lot and grown a lot
I couldn’t be happier in my heart’ and ‘ I’m ready to settle down, To leave my footprint, to putdown'. He's on his way now. I hope his partner is going along with him at this stage, she may be feeling a little overwhelmed ! In a moment of joy he sings ,’ Swap the fast lane for the bus lane. Both falling asleep at parties again. Change is coming fast, my wife. We need a plan, for now, for life’ . I like the bus lane analogy ! ( oh yes, I wrote that !)
Quietly he then brings up money or the lack of it be saying, ‘Get ready for a land of make believe To be poorer, but ready to achieve.’ mmmm doesn’t sound like he’s Mr Moneybags but does it matter ? Anyway, he goes back to Alicia’s ‘Does anyone know the words to. The song, ‘If I Ain ’t Got you’ (she also sings ’or I don’t want nothing at all’). What do you think – he is the
