I visited my ailing Mother in hospital, along side three other ladies. One of them had no living relatives and had not had a visitor for 6 months, rarely speaking to nurses etc. She died two days later. This song is for her.
220,000 women aged 50-54 in the UK live alone, about 12% of the total. This rises to 35% by the time they hit 75.
Cancer is the leading cause of death for women over 50, which equates to 75% of all cancer deaths for women. Around 30,000 women over 50 die from cancer every year
There are 150 hospitals in the UK treating cancer, 2700 cancer charities, 200 hospices and 5,000 funeral homes.
This is a song about what people say and don’t say, when they find out that a woman on her own has been tested positive for cancer. It's about she is treated by others when her diagnosis becomes known.
There is no single right answer to what you should say. Because you can't fix it for her. Listen and acknowledge seems to be the norm and then offer specific help.
This song goes into some of the cliches and silly things that people say, mainly due to simply not knowing what to say to help.
She sings ,I had a long life, I got children, had my suspicion’ then she repeats what she has got from others , ‘It happened for a reason’. Her reply is that ‘I’m on my own ,In the war zone. No one knows, how I feel’ and worse still , ‘no one knows, how to heal ’
Everyone tells her that ‘she is in their thoughts and to call if she needs to talk’, but it doesn’t help and never will. Thoughts and goodwill will not save her.
She would rather be upfront and state , ‘I’m not brave, I got no choice. It’s just the roll, of the dice’. She wants to keep saying it over and over in the chorus , ‘I’m not brave, I got no choice
In the overall schemes of things, she feels she is a liability or a victim of the ‘one out, one in’ lesson in life, i.e. what makes the world go around. She doesn’t want everyone to feel sorry for her, reminding them that ‘she can still, tell a joke, drink, and sometimes smoke’
They all shout ‘We are there for you’, but the reality is they are not . She ‘can’t be, set free’ However you dress it up ‘she has got no choice, she has got no voice’
The only way she can make sense of events is to question , maybe ‘she is in God’s plan. Maybe she will be missed ?’ Sobering thoughts !
