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Love gets marketed as a feeling you fall into, but our real lives keep asking for something sturdier. We wrestle with the question “How do you know when you love someone?” and end up talking about the moments that don’t fit on a greeting card: missing someone in the middle of an ordinary day, making space for them in your future, and choosing connection even when it costs time, energy, or pride. If you’ve ever wondered whether what you’re building is love or just attachment, this conversation gives you language that’s practical and honest.
We dig into what love looks like in action: respect over being right, boundaries instead of rules, and freedom instead of control. We also talk about the trap of self-sacrifice and hyper-independence, and how learning interdependence can feel scary if you grew up carrying too much. From chronic illness to grief to everyday care, we explore why receiving help is not weakness, and why refusing support can accidentally make you feel unreachable to the people who want to love you well.
Then we zoom out with a definition that sticks: love as an act of kindness with full presence. Not automatic giving, not emotional manipulation, not a perfect 50-50 split, but a steady commitment to show up as a whole person and to let other people do the same. We even get into self-love as honesty, journaling, slowing down, and returning to the things that regulate us, like music, after burnout.
If you want more conversations about relationships, emotional intimacy, boundaries, and what real love looks like, subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave a review so more curious people can find the table. What’s one action that makes you feel loved?
Special thanks to Rhys Lombardo for the audio engineering and Bruce France for production of the podcast audio.
Oh...and be sure to give a listen to the "On Being" episode with Rabbi Shia Held (On Love, and Judaism) Rhys mentioned!
If this sparked something for you, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a review or text us through the link above with the question you want us to explore next.
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