Great teams aren’t built by avoiding conflict or chasing talent—they’re built when leaders confront sin, protect their families, reject compromise, and follow the Holy Spirit as they love people well.
In this episode, Mark and Erica get real about the hidden threats that can quietly wreck your team: unresolved conflict, pride, unhealthy alliances, and the pressure to choose gifting over character. They talk through how to create a culture of “confront, repent, forgive,” why you must protect your family from ministry expectations, and how subtle compromise can derail a leader. You’ll also hear practical “tips and hacks” on building both an inner support team and a healthy staff culture where unity, honesty, and emotional safety are normal. Throughout it all, they point back to the Spirit of God as the real architect of healthy, kingdom-advancing teams.
📋 Key Takeaways
- Unresolved conflict is the #1 team threat | Healthy teams normalize a Matthew 18 rhythm: confront → repent → forgive, instead of walking on eggshells and letting hurt snowball into division.
- God often uses conflict to deepen love and strengthen roots | When you “don’t run,” stay at the table, and let wounds heal together, your relational roots intertwine and your team becomes way more resilient.
- Character and spiritual fruit > raw gifting | A brilliant “diva” on the team can quietly erode culture. Look for people who smell like Jesus—humble, trustworthy, safe—rather than just people who can get things done.
- The Holy Spirit is the real Team Architect | The “third strand” (Ecclesiastes 4:12) is Jesus in the middle, showing you who to pursue, what to confront, when to wait, and how to love your people well.
💬 Quotes & Soundbites
- “Some of the people you love most will hurt you most—but if you don’t run, your roots can actually grow together.”
- “The people around you are probably the most awesome thing God is doing in your life—you just don’t always see it, because you’re staring at the goal instead of the team.”
- “Annoyances aren’t the same as sin. Sometimes you need to forebear; sometimes you need to confront. God’s Word—not your irritations—has to be the standard.”
- “If you avoid hard conversations, you’re not just keeping the peace—you might be reinforcing pride and quietly reshaping the whole culture around compromise.”
🕐 Timestamps
- 00:00 - 18:00 -- Intro, Threat #1: Conflict Resolution (Matthew 18, confront–repent–forgive, “little foxes,” pride, walking on eggshells).
- 16:30–20:30 – Threat #2: Not protecting your family from ministry expectations; giving your kids freedom to be honest, not fake.
- 20:00 - 24:44 -- Threat #3: Compromise & Unhealthy Alliances (Jehoshaphat & Ahab, being “in” with the wrong people, secular work examples).
- 24:45 - 25:54 -- Surprise #1: People oversell their strengths and undershare their shadows; why character at home will bleed into leadership.
- 29:30–46:44 – Tips & hacks: building an external support team, valuing spiritual fruit over raw talent, diva dynamics, references, and “the wrong people on the bus.”
- 46:45–End – Final word: Ecclesiastes 4:12, inviting the Holy Spirit to lead your team-building, and practical questions for this week.
📖 Scripture Tie-Ins
- Song of Songs 2:15 – “Catch the little foxes…” (small issues that destroy the vineyard).
- Ephesians 4:2–3, 15 – Bearing with one another in love, keeping unity, speaking the truth in love.
- Psalm 84:10 – “Better is one day in your courts… I would rather be a doorkeeper…” (Erica’s “door holder” heart).
