The following episode description has been created with the assistance of AI.
Episode Overview
What happens when a father walks into family court feeling invisible, outmatched, and terrified of losing his children? In this episode of Shifting the Power Balance, host Dwayne Smith sits down with David Pisarra — family law attorney, fathers' rights advocate, and founder of Dad's Law School — for a candid conversation about the power dynamics inside the family court system.
This is Part 1 of a two-part conversation. Part 2 will drop in a couple of weeks.
About the Guest
David Pisarra — Family Law Attorney & Founder, Dad's Law School
David Pisarra is a family law attorney based in Santa Monica, California, with over 25 years of experience representing fathers in divorce, child custody, and parental alienation cases.
In 2021, David founded Dad's Law School — an online education platform and coaching community that equips fathers with the legal knowledge, courtroom skills, and emotional tools to fight for their children, with or without an attorney.
Timestamps
Introduction
0:20 — Show Introduction & Guest Bio Dwayne introduces David Pisarra and frames the episode's central question: Why do so many fathers enter the family court system powerless — and what does it take to change that?
David's Background & Origin Story
2:00 — Growing Up in Northern California David grew up in Orinda, CA (East Bay, outside Oakland/San Francisco).
2:15 — St. John's College — The Great Books Education Why David chose a small liberal arts school in Annapolis, Maryland.
3:12 — Landing in Los Angeles & Law School A summer working in his brother's law office turned into three years — then law school at the University of West Los Angeles.
4:02 — Becoming a Family Law Attorney — Not by Choice David's partner pushed for family law while David wanted business law. Word spread fast at networking events and his calendar filled with family law cases.
5:00 — Narrowing the Practice to Men After going "crazy" doing general family law, David realized he liked certain clients and not others. Boys on the right, girls on the left — and Men's Family Law was born.
5:10 — The Shift That Led to Dad's Law School About 10 years ago, David noticed men getting "chewed up by the mission creep of domestic violence law" Dad's Law School launched in 2021.
Representing Dads — While Fighting for Kids
6:41 — Holding Both Realities: The Client & The Child Dwayne asks how David advocates for dad without losing sight of the child's best interest.
7:08 — Dad's Role vs. Dad's Time It's not so much dad's time — it's your role as a parent.
What 25+ Years in Family Court Has Taught Him
8:27 — The View from the Courtroom David's frank assessment of what he sees: a lot of carnage — and a lot of people fighting for their ego instead of their children.
9:04 — How Family Court Cases Break Down 15% of court cases account for virtually all the damage.
10:31 — The Good He's Seen "Men generally step up. They generally want to provide for their families and their kids."
11:09 — The Uphill Battle The majority of engaged fathers are fighting a court system that is, in David's words, "definitely not skewed in their favor.
Is This a California Problem — or a Global One?
11:33 — Dwayne Asks About Geography: Is the alleged bias David sees specific to California's legal culture?
11:53 — David's Answer: The Laws Are Mostly the Same The nuance or interpretation differs coast to coast, but the statutory framework is largely similar.
12:32 — A Global Crisis David reports hearing from lawyers and litigants in New Zealand, Australia, South Africa, the Czech Republic, Canada, the UK, and Brazil — all experiencing the same systemic failure to support fathers in family court.
Does Money — or Lawyer Quality — Determine Outcomes?
13:21 — Dwayne's Question: Does a Better Lawyer = Better Outcome for Dad? Drawing a parallel to medicine: does who you hire determine how you do?
14:04 — David's Counterintuitive Answer "Not so much." A mediocre lawyer walking in with a mother who can cry on cue will more easily beat an experienced attorney representing a father.
Helping Dads Tell Their Story in Court
14:48 — The Storytelling Problem Dwayne asks what it actually means to help a dad tell his story effectively.
15:00 — Why Dads Don't Know What to Say When a dad walks in and says 'I'm a great dad, give me 50% custody,' that won't cut it against a mother with an encyclopedia of documentation.
15:18 — The Kid Inventory The centerpiece of David's book: 123 questions about what a father knows about his child .
16:28 — Countering the Narrative When a declaration with 43 specific facts about a child is placed in front of a judge, it shifts the conversation — and challenges mom's credibility if she claims dad is uninvolved.
16:39 — Dwayne's Experience as a School Administrator A compelling parallel: the political football of parental conflict that plays out in schools, and how Dwayne trained his teachers and staff not to get drawn into it.
The Most Common Mistake Fathers Make
18:26 — The Answer: Coming In Too Late David's most common call is from a dad who just got "destroyed in court" and needs it fixed.
Parental Alienation — What It Really Is
19:17 — Defining Parental Alienation Dwayne asks David to explain parental alienation for listeners unfamiliar with the term.
19:27 — The Core Definition "One parent turns the child against the other parent — trying to sever the relationship between parent and child.
20:00 — The Levels — From Normal to Severe Parental alienation involves what was formerly a loving, bonded relationship being broken for no valid reason.
21:09 — How It Starts Subtly A mother dropping a child off at dad's house and saying, "If you don't feel safe, call me, I'll come get you" — that's the beginning. The message planted: dad's house is not the safe house. Mom is the protector.
21:09 — The Termite Analogy "As those termites start wearing away the relationship, it becomes harder and harder for dad to bond." Eventually the child refuses to go to dad's house, citing vague discomfort or safety concerns that didn't exist months before.
22:18 — Why It's Almost Impossible to Prove in Court Mom isn't grilling the child or saying "dad is unsafe" on the record.
23:32 — The Long-Term Damage Parental alienation doesn't just break a relationship; it damages how the next generation forms their own families.
Episode Wrap-Up
24:02 — Part 1 Close — Teaser for Part 2 Dwayne wraps Part 1 and previews what's coming in the second conversation
Connect with David
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/davidpisarra/
Dad's Law School / Union of Dads: https://www.unionofdads.com
Men's Family Law: https://www.mensfamilylaw.com
This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes and does not constitute an attorney-client relationship or legal advice.
The views expressed by guests don't necessarily reflect those of the host(s).
