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Have you ever wanted to support someone you care about, but found yourself not knowing what to say, what to do, or how to stay in the conversation when things got heavy?

In this episode, I’m talking about something that comes up constantly in rural communities and relationships. How do we keep showing up for each other during hard seasons when everyone is already carrying so much?

Because the reality is, when people are struggling the most, they can also be the hardest to be around. And that’s not because they’re bad people. It’s because stress, pressure and overwhelm change how we see the world.

I run through the four common responses we tend to fall into when someone is hurting. We either try to fix it, fuse with it, fluff it off, or flee from it altogether. And while all of these reactions are human, they don’t always help us or the other person move forward.

I share a practical framework called SITT to help us support people in a steadier, more connected way without needing to rescue, solve or carry everything ourselves.

This episode is about learning how to hold space for someone without getting swallowed by it. We talk about validation, invisible support, emotional capacity, and why sometimes simply sitting with someone in the hard stuff can be one of the most powerful things we do.

I’d love to hear what resonated with you from this episode. What’s your default response when someone around you is struggling? Come and connect with me over on Instagram at @stephschmidt.farmlifepsych  and let’s continue the conversation there.

What we cover in this episode

• Steph introduces the challenge of supporting people during high-pressure seasons 
• Why struggling people can sometimes feel harder to be around 
• Reflections from men’s mental health sessions in rural communities 
• The tension between wanting to support others while protecting our own capacity 
• How stress and overwhelm change the way people think and respond 
• The role psychologists play in holding space without getting pulled into distress 
• Introduction to the “Four Fs” response patterns 
• What “Fixing” looks like in conversations 
• Why jumping straight to solutions can feel invalidating 
• Understanding “Fusing” and emotional contagion 
• How people can get stuck co-ruminating together 
• “Fluffing” things off through reassurance, jokes or minimising 
• “Fleeing” conversations and avoiding discomfort 
• Why all four responses are human and protective 
• Introducing the SITT framework as an alternative 
• “See”: validating and noticing someone’s distress 
• The importance of reflecting without immediately fixing 
• “Invite”: gently helping someone broaden perspective 
• Asking better check-in questions 
• “Take Action”: practical support and connection 
• The power of invisible support in rural communities 
• Everyday examples of invisible support 
• “Tolerate”: sitting with discomfort without needing all the answers 
• Recognising your own emotional capacity and limitations 
• Steph’s farm-style analogy about “sitting in the shit” with someone 
• Why support doesn’t mean fixing people 
• Final reflections on supporting others with steadiness and care

Connect with Steph

• Steph's website
• Digital Hub for Farmers: farmlifehandbook.com.au 
• Steph on Facebook
• Steph on LinkedIn
• Steph on Instagram
• Steph's upcoming events

The Farm Life Psych podcast shares general information and personal reflections to support wellbeing — it isn't therapy, counselling, or personal advice, and it's not a substitute for support from a qualified professional. If something's sitting heavily with you, please reach out to your GP, a psychologist, or a trusted support service. If you're in crisis or need to talk to someone now, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14. You're not alone, and reaching out is a strength.