Maybe you're like me and you're kind of a hater.
Are you cringing? I’m cringing. I just admitted to being one of the worst things to be. A hater. No one’s supposed to admit to that. No, we are all supposed to be fierce, confident, crown-adjusting, chin-lifting hand-extending queens secure in who we are, rocking t-shirts that read "community over competition" in bold pink letters. All. Of. The.Time. I’m not that all of the time. I am that most of the time. I am genuine, I am kind, I am empathetic and I want people to win. Sincerely... most of the time. But the rest of the time I am hating and trying to put it in check when I realize I’m doing it.
I haven’t always been able to coach myself through bouts of envy and jealousy. It’s a rather new development that came after writing my book Secret Donuts: A Journey to Getting Over Your Weight, Aligned with God and into Your Purpose. This episode is the fourth and final episode in a four part series dealing with themes related to the book. In it I share a section of my book that is an open and honest admission to how I zeroed in on a particular sister in Christ and hated on her because I viewed her through social media goggles and the lens of my insecurities. Over time I was able to heal, apologize directly to her and to stop viewing her (and many others) as competition.
I began to live by the wisdom of Proverbs 14:30 (NLT):
"A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones."
You know who this reminded me of?
Saul and David.
In 1 Samuel 18 a jealous Saul is tormented with jealousy and throws a spear at David trying to pin him to the wall. Twice. But David escaped both times. Just like Saul I was throwing spears. And Homegirl was ducking and dodging just like David. I was obsessed like Kady Heron was with Regina George and I could not stop the word vomit that would come up. I was a mean girl.
We might be more alike than you think...
Grab a copy of my book to see what I mean *wink wink*: Secret Donuts: a Journey to Getting Over Your Weight, Aligned with God and into Your Purpose
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*Grab a copy of my latest book: Secret Donuts: A Journey to Getting Over Your Weight, Aligned with God and into Your Purpose
"In Secret Donuts, Alicia Watson takes us through her story of her obsession with losing weight, something she believed was a necessary step to carrying out her purpose, when in fact her compulsive need to do so was the hindrance."
