On this episode of Bad Dads Film Review, the team reviews Abigail (2024) — a gleefully gory vampire horror-comedy from Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett, starring Melissa Barrera, Alisha Weir, Dan Stevens, Kathryn Newton, Kevin Durand, Angus Cloud, Giancarlo Esposito, and Matthew Goode.
In this episode
- Why the poster and streaming artwork spoil the film’s big vampire reveal
- Universal’s monster-movie legacy, from the failed Dark Universe to The Invisible Man, Renfield, and Abigail
- The heist-movie setup: anonymous criminals, Rat Pack aliases, a creepy manor, and a 24-hour ransom job
- Abigail’s Swan Lake opening and the early clue that she may not be as young as she looks
- The crew: Joey, Frank, Sammy, Rickles, Peter, Dean, and Lambert
- Giancarlo Esposito airport-chat, Terry Waite hostage tangent, and the inevitable Bad Dads detours
- Kristof Lazaar as the film’s Keyser Söze figure
- Dean’s pantry death, the Valdez misdirection, and the vampire reveal everyone at home probably already knew was coming
- Failed vampire defences: holy water, crucifixes, garlic/onions, stakes, sunlight, and general criminal incompetence
- The corpse pool, puppet-dancing, flying vampires, exploding bodies, and the increasingly messy final act
- Dan Stevens as Frank, Alisha Weir’s excellent monster-child performance, and Melissa Barrera grounding the whole thing as Joey
- Parent-child horror: Joey’s absent-mother guilt versus Abigail’s desperate need for her father’s attention
Bad Dads consensus
- Sidey: Strong recommend — enjoyed the daftness, gore, performances, and vampire lore play
- Dan: Strong recommend — expected something scarier, but found it funny, silly, and much more enjoyable than feared
- Reegs: Positive overall — liked the craft and cast, compared it to From Dusk Till Dawn, but felt the ending dragged and got messy
- Cris: Not a recommend — thought it was too long, not funny enough, and stranded between comedy, horror, and thriller
Final take
Abigail works best as a polished, knowingly ridiculous locked-house monster movie: criminals in a mansion, vampire ballerina on the loose, and enough exploding blood to repaint a stately home. It is not subtle, and the ending overstays its welcome, but for most of the dads the cast and energy carry it.
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