Victim-blaming is a persistent feature of systemic and individual failures to respond effectively to violence and safety. It appears consistently across countries, cultures, and professional systems—no matter where the work is done. Why does victim-blaming endure so universally, and what purpose does it serve within systems meant to protect?
In this episode, David and Ruth explore how victim-blaming undermines victims’ and survivors’ willingness to engage with helping systems, and how fear-driven system responses can mirror forms of coercive control. They examine how efforts to “force safety” often come at the expense of well-being, nurturance, and healthy parent–child bonding, ultimately recreating harm rather than reducing it.
Drawing on both personal and professional perspectives, David and Ruth unpack the different pathways through which victim-blaming shows up in practice. They offer concrete guidance for shifting away from blame and toward true partnership with survivors—approaches that increase safety, accountability, and trust while keeping responsibility clearly focused on those choosing violence.
Now available! Mapping the Perpetrator’s Pattern: A Practitioner’s Tool for Improving Assessment, Intervention, and Outcomes The web-based Perpetrator Pattern Mapping Tool is a virtual practice tool for improving assessment, intervention, and outcomes through a perpetrator pattern-based approach. The tool allows practitioners to apply the Model’s critical concepts and principles to their current case load in real
Check out David Mandel's new book Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to Transform the Way We Keep Children Safe from Domestic Violence.
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