We are unpacking this quote from Thomas Merton's book No Man Is an Island.
“The beginning of this love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”
In regards to:
...do we love them for who they are or what they can do for us?
After much untangling, our final conclusion:
Jesus didn’t love others because they reflected Him, He loved them so they desired to reflect Him.
